Friday, September 10, 2010
New SALTY Temple occupant...OH..SO...SALTEEE
That's the new gigantic salt lamp for the Temple.
Turning everything into a pooositive ion.
We went to the magical store down the street and picked it up....Maria bought it...me is BROKE.
Anyway...I did find enough cash to buy myself a little Ganesh figurine which I put ontop of the smaller salt lamp...His mountain of creativity...and a little magnetic ring.
AT THE STORE was a GIGANTIC white bowl made out of some sort of mineral. A large one ith a sign that said " ASK US if you want to hear it"...so i asked the guy behind the counter to play it...he banged it with a little dongy device then rolled it all around the rim..The sound was like SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER HEARD in my LIFE.
I imagine it's how UFO'S sound if they made a sound.
MY WHOLE body felt it...It was the best sex i've ever had.
I asked my roommate to ask him to play it again so i could hear it twice...
OH GOD...AMAZING....DIE...DIE....WAS PURE BLISSSSSS.
need that orgasm bowl...
So....here is my desk ritual set up....facing me is the Indian god Ganesh, the messenger god, god of idea and creativity....then pointed at me, stable in the vase...is my IMAGINATION GUN...Then to the far right is Blackberry the Venus fly trap......he is currently feeding on two TWO delicious FLIES my friend Willow caught for it.
Well....its one fly actually...one mouth got the head, another one got the body.
Last night I had my first panic attack...I have been very very sick for 3 days...Started off with a very swollen throat, then fevers and headaches....today is just massive headache and FIELDS of MUCUS.
I was trying to dra for me project but it's like my hand forgot how to draw a fucking body...it was so retarded...every face I drew was worse off than the last one...I wasn't even going in blind. I new exactly what i wanted to draw...it just all came out as shit. I put in 5 hours yesterday but I honestly didn't get much out of it...but i'm glad I put in some hours.
But the shittyness of the art that came out reminded me of how New I am to all this again...
Royce...THIS is the path you CHOSE..you have no CHOICE but to make it amazing!
And i Know i really do have no choice....So I started to panic..."What if i get no job after this? What if i stay sick forever and my art is forever cursed? What if I can't pay the rent in 3 months?
WHAT IF I CAN'T PAY THE RENT SOONER THAN THAT? what if the government like takes all my money for whatever reason....I would have no BACKUP!
Then when I go to The market for food, they go " Oh...hows poverty."
OH DEAR...I told my family finaly that I left work and am just going to draw now...They were supportive. My mother bought me a scanner.
Ew I just had a major mucus explosion....
anyway....back to the blog..
So that was my breakdown...I guess it came from a mix of Loneliness and sickness....It's lonely being alone in an apartment sick while there is always a huge street party down below haha.
I'm over it...It's all meaningless worrying anyway...The only thing factual is the hours I put into making all that bad shit NOT come to fruition.
SO....draw draw draw....
Been reading up lots on alternative cancer treatment methods...Yeah...whatever...controversiall.....I'm not talking about like witchy stuff....as much as like....complete change of diet and things...
Vegetable jucie cleanses and raw diets have irradicated cancer cells time and time again.
We never ever ask WHY someone has it...just focus all the time on hormones and then cutting people up again...in a LONG drawn out procedure that is extremely painful for the person and their family.
What if there was another way?
What if people took the Preventing very seriously.
Found out my grandpas cells are back again early last week....and I just hate that he's going back to the Hormones...He's already defeated the cancer once...he's 78 now....or 80?...What if there was another way...hmm it's not my choice anyway...I try bringing up my opinions and i got severely lashed for it by the mother....although she's always opposed every single opinion that isn't normal and accepted on the news. My grandpa is a very tough dude...He's up at 5 am every morning then builds roofs and houses on the island every day for 12 hours and 80 years old....EVEN TODAY...with the damn cancer back. I worry about my grandma though....There must be some sort of magic about her....with the amount she smokes and worries Im surprised she isn't a puddle of ulcers.
I'm in a better place to support them now too...SO i JUST WIsh for everyones happiness.
That's such an odd place for a hotel, accross the street.
I'm thinking I won't eat today, so my body can focus on destroying this fucking virus...
But I'm hoooongray....
i'll start drawing now and turn on my Gay witches podcast...haha... Willow suggested I listen to a podcast on Gay Shamanism...it's like a NEW form of magic only for gays...Gay men are supposedly tapped into this loving stream of gods made just for them. Like the Wiccanism is for women.
Also read an interesting and horribly frightening article on a lampshade a guy came accross that turned out to be made of HUMAN SKIN. from possibly the Holocaust...very good article ...Not so good to fall asleep to though....
I'll leave this blog with a beautiful glowing Image of the new Salt lamp...
TO THE FUTURE!
TO NOT DRAWING SHITTY TODAY!
TO GOOD HEALTH!
TO SALT! ( but not eaaaaating it of course, of course)