Wednesday, September 22, 2010

VERY TRIPPY DAY


nudeetee HONAAAAY

I think I just had my first shamanic experience...very fucking tripped up day honays. Love it.

So I currently sleep on my floor, and after my roommate goes to work I usually sneak into her mattress and sleep until I feel I had enough sleep time.

So I layed on her mattress , read some adbusters...was transfixed by an image of a bunch of decapitated heads on the ground...it made life look like nothing...
Then i started to doze off.

So I was in my dream and it was like every other dream, uncrollable, just being there for what goes on. My roommate came home in the dream and bought a huge bag of ketchup chips...I was extremely excited about them and gobbled them up while her brother ( who wasnt at all her brother in real life...her dream version brother was like some 18 year hippie guy) kept trying to take them. I let them be to watch the large tv in our apartment ( we dont have tv in our apartment) while I went to call my grandma...she was very excited to hear from me, It felt good, Then I sat on the same mattress I was sleeping on in reality...and started to doze off in the dream....THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED....THE QUALITY was NOT dream quality anymore...it was like REALITY QUALITY and then a TUNNEL appeared around me made of crayola BRIGHT colours EVERYWHERe swirling around me and pulling me forward deeper into this stranger reality of reality. Then suddenly...like if my skull was caving in....or my ears desperately where trying to touch eachother and meet at the halfway point of my brainparts...there was a LOUD HUGE CRUNCH/POP! THEN THERE I WAS IN A SEA OF DNA! DNA double helixes were swirling ALL AROUND ME and their were outlines of hills and mountains and scenery....The Moment I came into this world I had COMPLETE FULL CONTROL...it wasn't like any other dream...I MOVED willingly in this reality...I was in the harbour...of the empress hotel, everyone was jogging around me...and I kept thiking " Holy shit..I'm actually journeying!" then i shouted " I WOULD LIKE TO MEET MY SPIRIT ANIMAL PLEASE TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS" though i remember shouting it well before this time...about the time when the DNA came as well....The animals were weirder here...and their were giant GIANT yellow flowers as the ground...it was like real life meets wizard of OZ...Then as if this place wanted to show me how real it was...hail or other solid objects started to fall from the sky...WHICH ACTUALLY HURT... I FELT EVERY ONE that hit my body. As I ran I fell down onto the hard pavement and itno different than falling on pavement in the material reality...fucking hurt...At this point I was just running aimlessly looking for SOME sort of guide here to help me..I came near a forrests edge then walked around some weird as spotted fuck dog/cow thing with tube like teets all around the side of it's torso that any animal or jogger that crossed it took a sip from...I was looking for a spider...because I always assumed my guide would be a spider...But as I crossed the corner, around the DOG/COW...the ground started to crumble a bit...and a gigantic beautiful mocha bull with polished white horns came charging at me....Then he was gone...In his place was a Black man yelling into a cave...I didn't see his face...but I knew he was important...The same tunnel that got me to this place started to fold around me again and I was pulled back into material reality....with a DING...DING..DING...My antique coocoo clock pulled me back home...for now...or maybe that place was home.

I immediately put on a new shirt and ran outside ...headed for the market....naturally...I think of food after something like that...I was still in this dreamlike stuppor...and the REAL world got really fucking weird all of a sudden. Four people I passed seemed to look at me in the eyes and notice my existance more than usual...then I saw a guy with my exact same shoes...When I got to the market I was asked if i was on drugs...I tried to explain what just happened....They are sticking with the drugs theory.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Sept 20th


Losing focus.

This weeks obsessions include:

law of attraction.

Like attracts like.

Gratitude.

Life is good, I am grateful for it all.

WIll post epic post tommorow.

Am going to use Law Of attraction to make this blog EXPLODE into the ZEITGIEST of it ALL.

Keep getting distracted with sleep, food, and computey....

Only had rice today....have monaay though...just because haven't left my desk...so resulted in rice.

LIFE IS PHENOMENAL my friends.

I'm going for a walk now.

Monday, September 13, 2010

THE ICE CREAM MAN

SIMON the ice cream man is coming over for afternight tea tonight.

I enjoy him. Maria's friend.

He has such sexual energy, reminds me of a horny clown.

Tonight I went to an art gallery.

It was shit.

the one I went to last week was shit too.

I really do not enjoy gallerys made simply for praise.

15 shitty pieces. absolute garbage and everyone lines up to go " oh how WONDERFUL"...

dear....for me..the first rule of an artist is SELF EVALUATION. self awareness...

SO ME AND MARIA HAVE AN excellent plan. We are going to host a gallery, spend a week making intentionaly the worst shit possible, just for the sake of mingling. We will host it in 2 weeks.

It'll be called. SHITTY ART, FANTASTIC MINGLING....or something...SO THRILLING...

true blood finale was...interesting...

I'm a fool, I tried to shamanic journey...and i ended up falling asleep forever....I'll be up all night

Saturday, September 11, 2010

SHOW...ME...EVERYTHING!


















Not sick anymore.

Sat down to draw yesterday but it just wasn't going to work. I felt destroyed from the inside out. I had all the ideas in my head, my body just didn't remember how to draw.

BACK at it though, devine again. Again am a proffesional.

Had my witches come over to dance health back into me (ie. bring me lots and lots of drugs....ie...tylenol extreeeemes and shite)

We finaly organized the temple too.

Hung up my very old coo coo clock. It hasn't worked since I was very young. Maria had an internet friend stop by, he said he wanted to be a nurse. He took one look at our coo coo clock and DEAR...IT WORKED AGAIN!....so I think he'll be a good nurse.

Clock stopped working in the morning, so maybe i'll have him over again.

last night was devine....health replenished as the night went on. Willow took lots of photos again...i'm having him send them all now for the next blog. BEAUTIFUL temple photos.

Things I will remember forever last night:

My friend Takehiro posing nude for a photoshoot and requesting another photoshoot covered only in his MANPEAARLS

Takehiro dancing to a german waltz , using Maria's Swatstika ( She ain't a nazi, her Grandada took it from the war) flag as a dress...one of the more macabre images I have seen in my life.

Takehiro making a feast for us: miso soup and homemade sushi.

OOO pics just came in E-MAIL.... Posting them now...

We are perhaps most likely going to take in Takehiro as a third roommate.

we are asking him to stay 4 days before he makes his decision.

2 witches and a storyteller dear in an apartment of glowing salts and ticking coocoo's

fantasies come to life.

Me and Maria are doing a TEA fast for 6 days....how...ELEGANT....

now...for PIKTURES!!!

P.S. I FEEL SO.....ENLIGHTENED this morning. I discovered I can pull up our window blinds VERY high....and our windows are very high....so Now it's like an IMAX view of outside...

Drawing time now...Need to catch up!!!!

Friday, September 10, 2010

New SALTY Temple occupant...OH..SO...SALTEEE



That's the new gigantic salt lamp for the Temple.
Turning everything into a pooositive ion.

We went to the magical store down the street and picked it up....Maria bought it...me is BROKE.

Anyway...I did find enough cash to buy myself a little Ganesh figurine which I put ontop of the smaller salt lamp...His mountain of creativity...and a little magnetic ring.

AT THE STORE was a GIGANTIC white bowl made out of some sort of mineral. A large one ith a sign that said " ASK US if you want to hear it"...so i asked the guy behind the counter to play it...he banged it with a little dongy device then rolled it all around the rim..The sound was like SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER HEARD in my LIFE.

I imagine it's how UFO'S sound if they made a sound.

MY WHOLE body felt it...It was the best sex i've ever had.

I asked my roommate to ask him to play it again so i could hear it twice...

OH GOD...AMAZING....DIE...DIE....WAS PURE BLISSSSSS.

need that orgasm bowl...



So....here is my desk ritual set up....facing me is the Indian god Ganesh, the messenger god, god of idea and creativity....then pointed at me, stable in the vase...is my IMAGINATION GUN...Then to the far right is Blackberry the Venus fly trap......he is currently feeding on two TWO delicious FLIES my friend Willow caught for it.

Well....its one fly actually...one mouth got the head, another one got the body.


Last night I had my first panic attack...I have been very very sick for 3 days...Started off with a very swollen throat, then fevers and headaches....today is just massive headache and FIELDS of MUCUS.

I was trying to dra for me project but it's like my hand forgot how to draw a fucking body...it was so retarded...every face I drew was worse off than the last one...I wasn't even going in blind. I new exactly what i wanted to draw...it just all came out as shit. I put in 5 hours yesterday but I honestly didn't get much out of it...but i'm glad I put in some hours.

But the shittyness of the art that came out reminded me of how New I am to all this again...
Royce...THIS is the path you CHOSE..you have no CHOICE but to make it amazing!

And i Know i really do have no choice....So I started to panic..."What if i get no job after this? What if i stay sick forever and my art is forever cursed? What if I can't pay the rent in 3 months?
WHAT IF I CAN'T PAY THE RENT SOONER THAN THAT? what if the government like takes all my money for whatever reason....I would have no BACKUP!

Then when I go to The market for food, they go " Oh...hows poverty."

OH DEAR...I told my family finaly that I left work and am just going to draw now...They were supportive. My mother bought me a scanner.

Ew I just had a major mucus explosion....

anyway....back to the blog..

So that was my breakdown...I guess it came from a mix of Loneliness and sickness....It's lonely being alone in an apartment sick while there is always a huge street party down below haha.

I'm over it...It's all meaningless worrying anyway...The only thing factual is the hours I put into making all that bad shit NOT come to fruition.

SO....draw draw draw....

Been reading up lots on alternative cancer treatment methods...Yeah...whatever...controversiall.....I'm not talking about like witchy stuff....as much as like....complete change of diet and things...

Vegetable jucie cleanses and raw diets have irradicated cancer cells time and time again.

We never ever ask WHY someone has it...just focus all the time on hormones and then cutting people up again...in a LONG drawn out procedure that is extremely painful for the person and their family.

What if there was another way?

What if people took the Preventing very seriously.

Found out my grandpas cells are back again early last week....and I just hate that he's going back to the Hormones...He's already defeated the cancer once...he's 78 now....or 80?...What if there was another way...hmm it's not my choice anyway...I try bringing up my opinions and i got severely lashed for it by the mother....although she's always opposed every single opinion that isn't normal and accepted on the news. My grandpa is a very tough dude...He's up at 5 am every morning then builds roofs and houses on the island every day for 12 hours and 80 years old....EVEN TODAY...with the damn cancer back. I worry about my grandma though....There must be some sort of magic about her....with the amount she smokes and worries Im surprised she isn't a puddle of ulcers.

I'm in a better place to support them now too...SO i JUST WIsh for everyones happiness.

That's such an odd place for a hotel, accross the street.

I'm thinking I won't eat today, so my body can focus on destroying this fucking virus...

But I'm hoooongray....

i'll start drawing now and turn on my Gay witches podcast...haha... Willow suggested I listen to a podcast on Gay Shamanism...it's like a NEW form of magic only for gays...Gay men are supposedly tapped into this loving stream of gods made just for them. Like the Wiccanism is for women.

It's...fun....

Also read an interesting and horribly frightening article on a lampshade a guy came accross that turned out to be made of HUMAN SKIN. from possibly the Holocaust...very good article ...Not so good to fall asleep to though....

I'll leave this blog with a beautiful glowing Image of the new Salt lamp...

TO THE FUTURE!

TO NOT DRAWING SHITTY TODAY!

TO GOOD HEALTH!

TO SALT! ( but not eaaaaating it of course, of course)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Toonie Tuesday

Tickles my Pickle.

It's Tuesday night.

Dear Milton rang our door bell and is over on the floor.

We are all listening to Cheryl Merkowski prank calls.

My throat is very swollen today because I got an advil stuck in it yesterday and it scratched it all Up.

ruined my whooooole day.

Waiting for Takehiro.

Sent my scans in today.

Working for mother tommorow morning.

Oh what a GOOD blog this was..

ahaha. Back to Art... I wonder how i can get more people to read this.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

SWINGERS PARTY



I've learned/realized a valuable lesson this week.

The art of Doing.

I talk about it a lot but I think this week/today is clicked.

I'm thankful I have 1 or 2 friends going through the same shit. The NEED to create or live their passion vs the distractions. All my other friends are still in " The Matrix" so to say and 90 percent of them will never leave it. It really upsets me when I have a really creative friend be it in painting or photography or comedy/observational writing...and when they DO create they are very happy from the effects...I am not talking about me noticing a friends hobbies of doodling or whatever. I mean I have some VERY creative/ talented friends who could be on the path of being GREAT if they dropped it all and pursued it. Everytime I talk to them it's always " I have it all planned out, I'll get to it later, after school"...they may or may not. But I get very angry at them for not caring about it...maybe cause I see that they really do care about it.

Then I have these other friends who are very talented and on the other end of the spectrum. They have always pursued it whole heartedly since they were kids , to a point that they never needed to get that 9-5 job because they've been so involved in that art world for so long they will never need to look for another job outside of it. They also never questioned or write blogs about thier lack of inspiration that day...they've always just DONE...most of the time completely unaware that their very act of DOING is the rare thing, not the talent.

I've always been in the middle. I've had the talent and I take the risks without second thought..but i've never had that Thoughtless transition into DOING...the DOING part has always been a huge struggle that I need to constantly keep in check.

I definately Owe my life now to Patrick and Chen from PCP...

If I never did PCP...I would never have gotten into that blissful state of mind of the first month of pcp before the valley...

In that state of mind I went out in search of magic, found Maria while looking for Magic and now we live above a comic book store and I dropped everything to pursue drawing, a talent I all but threw away since I left college.

I have the greatest little art job to carry me by for a month or two that is really just amazing.

I just really worry about food now I guess.

I'm back in the Swing.

Reading this GETTING THINGS DONE book still, patrick sent, right on the heels of Deborah's book " WAR ON ART"...There is a quote a rower gives about being in the zone of trusting the body to do the job and just not thinking, just doing. they call it the Swing.

So I had an Idea to throw a SWINGERS PARTY 2 nights a week at the temple of Do Do Do.

Invite people who are dedicated to a craft, we have snacks and records playing and we all just chill out in our spaces and create and share stories.

It sounds like distractions potential at it's highest....it's really not if you get the right people.

I remember when my friend Mario came to visit we all just chilled and drew and it was completely cool.

As for the Temple itself...I find I am completely responsible for how well this will turn out.
I feel like...this is week one and I deffinately Am not bringing my best game. I am eating shit again, not working out recently and just generaly being useless.

The Temple of DO do DO Is only as strong as I am. The batcave is nothing if it was the penguin that lived in there instead of housing the ideals of Bruce Wayne.

Need to be a man, Step Up...get back on top of things. Be A man of DO DO DO so they temple will MEAN something. We are lacking in furniture or anything right now so it's very vital that I bring my best every day because the temple can't stand on it's own yet.

but...SWINGERS PARTIES....cool.

I went for a walk tonight to really clear my mind...It was labour day....I planned to send some scans in for the job job but the office was closed...So I came back and slept. I didn't really like the scans so i'm starting new ones after my late night walk...WHY DID I NOT LIKE THEM? I figured it out which comes back to the REALIZATION part at the top of the post. Last week, my first batches of scetches were done on the top floor of my old work, on the chip aisle... in quick 2 minute bursts...there was NO thinking...DOODLING....then re aranging it again...Ideas where either good or not...the good ones cyphered out and made even better..

Then after I sent in the first batch of scans...I wanted to create that...but I went about it in all the wrong way. I sat and started thinking about ideas, for hours. drawing very little in those times...ideas never came. I drew...but it was shit all of a sudden.
I felt ashamed to scan these in....So after my walk I feel like i've learned something....JUST FUCKING DRAW...so I tossed that rubbish and started fresh...turned on some podcasts and just got right to it.

my dear friend Takehiro " Now Royce...my dear...it's not the Temple of TH TH THINKING"

So atleast now I realize how the process works better. So I won't have that excuse of " I'm just not inspired" anymore. Hopefuly my darling boss won't fire me for my early shoddyness...I'm doing well now though. On the ball. Spitting out some images. Having fun with it.

Reminding myself that I AM DRAWING...IT CAN'T FUCKING GET MORE AWESOME...THIS IS YOUR ARENA...THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE YOU MOST OF ALL!!! OWN IT!

I'm hungry for soup.

Swingers party anyone?



Yes darling, you're invited.